Found out today that my grandpa died, this past tuesday. I’m just finding out today. Pretty shitty that my dad’s ex girlfriend had to be the one to send me a message through facebook and tell me since my grandma didn’t care to inform her grandkids. He or she has NEVER liked me, always chose my brother over me, even told my mother that they enjoyed Corey (brother) more than I. I have so much resentment towards him because he disowned ME, but i can’t help feel so sad, and i’ve been crying nonstop for two hours. How am i supposed to feel? I want to continue to hate him but my heart just aches out in pain.

I’m hurt, he’ll never get to know how his choices has affected ME. How he never even made the effort to show me the love he has given my brother, it sucks…and it hurts. I have no family. My dad’s parents (above) chose my brother over me, my dad left us and is crying out for forgiveness behind his 8x8 prison cell; the only person i have in my life is my mother.

I have no grandparents, no aunts or uncles, no cousins, nothing, except my mother. I get SO jealous when i see people with their families. I get so angry when i see people disrespect their families. BE GRATEFUL they are still in your life and actually show and give you love, because there are people, like myself, who don’t have that privilege. My kids will never have all four grandparents like he/she would, that hurts even more because i know what it’s like firsthand. 
Never wish away a family member unless they brutally did something to you, if they piss you off one day, just shrug it off because at the end of the day THEY STILL LOVE YOU. Don’t take for granted what you have because you have a whole lot more than someone else.

I will continue to cry, just because my heart is big enough to forgive, but i will never forget the hurt i’ve been put through.